We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I feel like abortions should bother me more
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize
