well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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