i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Dick very happy bro
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
