I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize