So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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