Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
