I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
