Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
