it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
