Got a toothbrush?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I have post one night stand depression
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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