Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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