We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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