I just saw a hot homeless man
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
