don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
