He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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