so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
