is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
