Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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