some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
