you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
