i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
