Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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