I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
