So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
