omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
