You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
