I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
