Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize