She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
