ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
