I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I have feelings that need drinking.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
