he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
