Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
