i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
