I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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