I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I need to stop coming to work sober
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
