I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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