Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize