I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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