I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I touched a dick in church today
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
