We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
