You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
