I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
and you fell through a lawn chair
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize