idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
