It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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