Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
