The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
