i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
