dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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