You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
