it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
