absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
