like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
