think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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