david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
