Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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