no. you can't hotbox the world.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
