I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
