think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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